


First As Tragedy, Then As Farce

by Anonymous



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Gallows Humor, Hydra Party Favor Trash Party, M/M, Rape Recovery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-04
Updated: 2014-06-04
Packaged: 2018-02-03 10:20:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1741133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Bucky horrified Steve by making light of his sordid past as a HYDRA party favor and how it was fucking with their sex life, and one time it just wasn't funny.</p>
            </blockquote>





	First As Tragedy, Then As Farce

**Author's Note:**

> Fill for a [prompt](http://hydratrashmeme.dreamwidth.org/587.html?thread=843#cmt843) on the Hydra Trash Party kinkmeme.

As luck would have it, the very first thing that happens once they get their pants off is that Bucky sits Steve down on the edge of the bed and crouches between his legs.  
  
Steve has to take a deep breath to calm his nerves, but he still manages to grin and raise an eyebrow. "Like what you see?"   
  
Bucky bites the inside of his thigh, and Steve can't entirely restrain the way his body jerks in response. "Nah, I think you should've asked Erskine to make it bigger, if you've still got enough blood going to waste in your head to ask dumb questions. Of course I like what I see, you big lug."  
  
"I should've guessed you'd be one for romantic pillow talk."  
  
Bucky leans in and mouths wetly at the underside of Steve's erection. Steve lets his head fall back and exhales hard, and when he looks back down, the look on Bucky's face could definitely be qualified as a shit-eating grin. "Shut up and let me blow your mind, doll," Bucky says, and wraps his lips around Steve's cock.  
  
Steve can't help but cry out. It feels so good it's almost torturous; the only way he can keep from outright writhing and thrashing is to bury his hands in Bucky's hair and hold on for dear life. Very quickly, his world narrows down to nothing but the searing slick heat of Bucky's mouth working around his cock. The tunnel vision is something he'll kick himself for later, because he doesn't even notice when things start to go wrong.  
  
All he knows is at one point he opens his eyes and Bucky's almost catatonic. He's just sitting there, slack-jawed, letting Steve buck up into his mouth, and everything screeches to a halt because this is _wrong_. Steve's mind starts catching up with his gut instinct and it only gets worse, because he realizes that in his blind daze of pleasure he'd been thrusting deep enough to choke and Bucky didn't even _react_. His eyes are glassy, and there are tear tracks down his cheeks.  
  
Steve jerks away like he's been burned. Immediately Bucky flinches as though he's expecting to be hit, his face still a mask of dull acceptance. When the blow never comes, he looks up in confusion, then his brow contracts like he's trying to figure it out, and from there, slowly, awareness dawns.  
  
He flings himself down on the bed beside Steve, breathing hard. "What the goddamn everliving _fuck_ was that," he gasps.  
  
"I was about to ask you the same thing," says Steve shakily.  
  
Bucky gulps down a few more deep breaths and scrubs at his eyes with both palms. "No, wait. Shit. Shit, it's coming back to me. Episodic memory. Right."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Episodic memory. I don't always--remember things that've happened to me very well. 'Specially as the Winter Soldier, 'cause it's not like I want to remember most of that. Sometimes I get flashes. But it's mostly muscle memory."  
  
"Bucky, what... what just happened?" says Steve, trying very hard to shove down his sick feeling of dread before it blossoms into full-fledged panic.  
  
"Muscle memory taking over, I guess." Bucky's mouth twists. "No, I know. I've got it now. Sometimes I can find things when I go looking for them. And... you're not gonna like this, Stevie."  
  
Steve just looks at him, not willing to say it. Because it could be anything. Really. The file Natasha gave him had been full of trigger phrases and kill switches. Ways Bucky had been conditioned to just go blank. It could be a total coincidence that one of them got set off right when they were finally in bed together. And he's not going to voice the _other_ possibility unless Bucky brings it up.  
  
Bucky shrugs, desperately trying to look nonchalant about it. "It's not that surprising. If you think about it." He swallows, looking a bit sick despite his valiant efforts not to. "You got a mindlessly obedient super-assassin lying around, what are you gonna do with him? People are people. Someone was bound to try it eventually."  
  
"It doesn't seem like..." Steve's voice breaks and he has to start over. "It wasn't just one person trying it once. Was it."  
  
Bucky wraps his arms around Steve, like _Steve's_ the one who needs comforting, except he presses his face into Steve's shoulder like he wants it to get stuck there. "Nope," he says hollowly. "Definitely a habit kicking in. From what I can remember, seems like I was the life of all the office parties."  
  
Steve hugs back, helplessly. "God, that's awful." There are so many other things he wants to say, _I'm sorry_ and _I'll kill whoever did this_ and _You know none of this was your fault_ , but they stick in his throat and all he can do is keep his arms around Bucky like he's never going to let go.  
  
"Just one of the many skills I can thank HYDRA for. I oughta put it on my resume. Why, yes, ma'am, I can speak seven languages, kill you twenty different ways without getting up from my seat, deep-throat like a pro, _and_ do shorthand. When do you want me to start?"  
  
"What the fuck, Bucky, it's not funny. What they did to you--"  
  
"Yeah, I know it's not, that's why I'm joking about it." Bucky punches Steve in the shoulder and pulls back to flash him a slightly shaky grin, and if the tear tracks on his face are fresh ones Steve's definitely not going to mention them. "There you go, you almost sounded like your old punk self for a second there. Now stop looking at me like somebody just died, I think we've got some unfinished business to get back to." He puts a hand over Steve's mouth before he can even protest. "Nope, shut your mouth, don't even say it--I want to. One in the eye for HYDRA. Besides, I gotta figure out how to suck you off without conking out sooner or later, or nobody's ever gonna teach your sorry ass basic blowjob etiquette. Yanking my hair _and_ fucking my throat—Steven Grant Rogers, for shame."  
  
Steve actually, honest-to-god blushes, guilt and shame spreading hot over his skin. "Sorry. I—sorry." He glances up and sees Bucky roll his eyes. He's got one of his patented "oh don't give me that horseshit" expressions plastered across his face. So Steve takes a deep breath, gives Bucky an answering playful shove on the shoulder, and adds, "In my defense, it was pretty overwhelming."  
  
His light tone is pathetically unconvincing, but then, Bucky's smug look doesn't entirely reach his eyes either. "Yeah, I'll bet. Told you I was going to blow your mind. Wasn't expecting to blow mine too while I was at it, but we can work around it, yeah?"  
  
Steve isn't at all sure it's going to be that simple, but Bucky doesn't look like he's interested in having that conversation right now and Steve knows better than to try and talk him down from a fit of stubborn bravado. "Yeah," he says. "If you're up for it, we'll figure something out."  
  
"I'm up for it all right," Bucky leers, and pokes Steve in the stomach with his slowly-returning hard-on. Steve groans and hits him with a pillow.


End file.
